I am really grateful that I have had a relatively easygoing two weeks. Of course, I have experienced some anxiety attacks while getting back behind the wheel and dealing with other life experiences, but it can always be worse. Lucky for me that I have a wonderful support system and frames of reference to rely on.
There has been some progress on thesis work, I’ve begun reworking it. It now more theory-oriented. My justification has been that instead of having to deal directly with IRB and other bureaucratic governing bodies, I can at least have more freedom and less constriction by simply working around that. Less stress-inducing experiences the better. So I’m pretty confident in what I’m writing.
I spoke with a pal of mine and we hit it off in conversation, discussing the gaping holes in the abstract. It has helped make my foundation a bit stronger and for that I will always be thankful. Next steps are outlining Table of Contents with detailed names and completing my bibliography/literature review. I can do this, pushing my thesis to Summer II may very well end up the best decision.
To ease up on my driving anxiety, I am also taking a Defensive Driving Course online. I really believe that my anxieties build up and play a sort of domino effect, crippling good decision-making. I’m remedying that by re-educating myself on the driving aspect, to eliminate that stress. Let the record reflect that I really fucking hate driving and that I feel much safer with walking. That being said, it may be that it is a necessary evil and that I have to redirect my paradigm. So this is that. I am a careful and aware driver that obeys the law. As long as I am observant and astute to the conditions and drivers on the road, I will have safe passage from destination-to-destination. So say we all.
A lot of shifts are happening right now, I may or may not have to cancel plans. There are limitations that we all face, but it’d be nice if all I had to worry about was myself. That said, I’ve got to eliminate the selfish bullshit that floats in my cranium and move forward. Family comes first. Gotta have that mindset in the meantime.
On the physical activity side of life, I’ve been able to consistently eat well and exercise by running/jogging. It’s been a very enjoyable practice and discipline forming venture. Granted, I did deviate from both for two days or so this week. I am absolving myself of guilt because I know that this is not a repeat performance. I’m back on track today and it is something that shouldn’t phase my long-term plans.
Cinema I recommend: The Aviator (2004), The VVItch (2016), Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, and Jane The Virgin.